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THE. 

1950-1955 

ALBUM 



THE 



ND^ YOMIEK 



1950-1955 

ALBUM 




HARPER g BROTHERS • NEW YORK 

yNiye»escTY of flokiba liiwries 



THE NEW YORKER 1950-1955 ALBUM 

Copyright. 1953, by The New Yorker Magazine, Inc. 

Copyright. 1950, 1951, 1952, 1953, 1954, 1955, 

by The Xeie Yorker Magazine, Inc. 



All riglits in this book are resei-ued. 



I.itliographed in the United States by 

The Murray Printing Company. Wakefield. Mass. 

Design and layout by Carmin Peppe. 

of The New Yorker staff 

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 55-S220. 




"/ just cafiH wait to see your work, old fellow. 



3J 





-^^^ 



'^- 





"I'm afraid this h goodbye, Miss Woodley. Pve lost 
the battle for proxies." 







"^// right ^ now, a little smile." 




^p^ 




^v$^i^ 








"Tremame, could I see you for a moment — alone?' 




^(\J^ 



/■> 



'I'm so relieved. I was afraid they'd just touch something and it would start right uf." 




•t^^Uvil^ 



»"■' V 




^Hey, Combs! Where the hell do you think yoiv're going?" 




.-/^Nl 



'I swore they'd never take nie alive, but when 
the thne came 1 figured what the hell." 



MieningtetLnanJ- 



CMAIRMAN 
OF THE 
BOARD 





'Unus, duOy tres, quattuor, qu'mque, sex . . ." 




diM^ 4mdi 



"Really, Ethel Driggs! Doesn't the Girl Scout oath 
we took back in Elkhart mean anything to you any more?" 



© 



@ 





■ "'JrfJ*.'*.^ ^■iw 







'Mama had a sofa just like that when we lived on South Elm Street." 





® 






"/ do think, Dr. Wurdle, that vchat we are 

witnessing here is an example of what might 

well be called ecological coordination." 




f — n 




'Now the same letter as Charles Boyer would dictate it." 





Ou'r^^ 



, ■ 'i '.1,11 1* 

.■•;'i;i; ■';,'■'.■.'> 



111, 1,1 



/> 1, 'i • • ■ 



\ 



'To a great human being!' 





"This is the tim,e of year when 

you begin to appreciate the 'Times' s' fuller coverage.' 



; , , .{1:1.1 . ■ u , ,1 ; iliii : U.j^ ||i^U iJi-«iiai;jiiM.t-vi 



;_^ 'i itl^ 







"My compUmetits to the c/fe/." 




"You donh understand, Dad. It isn't the 
business itself — that's going great. But you can't imagine ixhat taxes do to you today." 




^^ 




UAWU 



{'/UuUrvi 




"A t least in a movie 

you might be sitting 

next to someone.'''' 



V?I^ 




A 






"Now, that's what I mean about Agnes." 








'■'■Btit 'we''re from 'Life\''^ 



6 








'^'^M. 




M^'jja 




"Watch out for him. He just had his wheels oilei?'' 



r% 





c 



^ 





J' 



ff 






"Pardon me, sir, are 
you Mr. Baldivin, the -patent attorney V^ 






UAf) 




' Now I see why everybody thinks they're extinct. 




'^m^^ 



'Technically nobody can touch him—but he has nothing to say." 




mm 



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mmmmmmmmmmi mmm 



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miMHi 



MmmnmmMimimilMM 



liimmmMMiim 



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mmmmummmMiim 



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'Kindly take us to your President!" 





3(iv*rM»Uvi 



'/ am_ meditating: 





"Now, get this through your 

head. Edward R. NLurrow is visiting me ." 




I 1 



1 1 I A'J-i' , I 



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t 



5r. 





c*^ 



J-MALL FRY 

iANDLOT BA5EBALL 




Fancy Dan 



Waiting for the signal 





Slugger 




'It certainly sounds good to hear English spoken again." 




Circus catch 




'Here it is. Take a good look at it." 




^ 




Three easy outs 



o — 



t_Jl,.A. 



n i j Q a ■: u 'T 
^mil nig n i 



Tr""j;i 




Relief pitcher zvarming up 



Rookie 




o. 




Butter fingers 



(mi 




"It's not that I don't know whether I love you or not, Herbie, 
it's just that I never thought of you in this connection." 




'Speaking." 









■Pfi^.L.^ 



'This has nothing to do_ with logic!" 







"My, you do have a green thumb!" 





^/<ifie^iMy 



"Damn it, Henderson, that izas supposed 
to be a CO fee break]" 




'Grab a mitt. The world situation won't deteriorate any faster 
because you get in a little one o' cat." 




Blast off!" 








^<:S7^it«i-^ 




^-jei^R^^ 



''His wife poiso?is him ifi the third act. 





mim 



IHE 







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"/ flayed on Notre Dame? 






^ We've already done this room. I remember that fire extinguisher.'^ 






"O/^, you beautiful doll, 

You great, big beautiful doll." 













"Now, has anyone anything else 

she wants to say before we start talking French?" 





u 



— \V \m\ 



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^^it»7 



"5«y, / Mi«/^ / see where we went off. Isn't eight times seven fifty-sixP" 




'Oh, oh! Pve got a hunch we're in for trouble." 





^'■Strange — / never saw these lines before except on a catalpa leaj^ 




"The makers of Siegfried beer take you to 
Madison Square Garden for the windup be- 
tween Mike Mulvane and Rocky Rinaldo." 




"While the boys are getting set, why don't 
you get set — with a bottle of Siegfried . . ." 





'Well, that round was in doubt. But there's 
no doubt about the . . ." 



best beer for your money . 




\o 



'There's the bell ending the ninth. Time for 
a breather, and that means . . ." 




'. . . the lager that likes you. 




. . rich as velvet, smooth as silk . . ." 




■■•^""Tt" 



"Bell for the third coming wp. Just time to 

latch onto another bottle of that beer no other 

beer can lay a glove on." 





. . and -a:hile you're out there, make sure you've 
got enough of those blond beauties on ice." 



". . . looks like Mulvane's losing his head. 
You keep one on that glass of yours." 




'Don't forget our six-can Handipak, and the 
money-saving case of twenty-four . . ." 




"It's Rinaldo, folks, by a decision! A nd here's 

a winner by a decision, too — Siegfried beer, 

First for Thirst'.!" 




"/ hope they have to do a retake. This cherry cobbler is delicious." 





'Did it ever occur to you how you look to them?" 




ixM^ 



"Please don't go to any trouble. We can only stay a minute.' 




^^Boy, Pll bet things are humming over at the 'Mirror^ !^^ 




"A-Iany, many years ago, a little boy stood ivatching 
steatn esca-pe jroyn his mother's samovar. 'Why not 
harness the steam^ he thought, 'and put it to ijcork?' 
That little boy lived to invent the steam engine. His 
name "jcas Alexei Petro-ff." 




"Of course that's only an estimate. The actual 
cost izill be somewhat more." 



I 




5r. 



"The feeling is mutual, -punk!' 





"And so we say goodbye to beautiful New England. 



f 




"Would you prefer Mendelssohn's 'Wedding March' or 'Lohengrin'? 





^/<s&$ 




"Why not look at it this way. Miss PaxtonP 

Glasses, more than any other single thing, set 

us apart from the lower species." 



'I know the type. A II you'd ever get out of him 
would be 'We can't a ford it'!" 



l,f^i\ 






"I could have bought General Motors in 1949 for 
twenty-six dollars a share. I could have bought Boeing 
for six dollars a share. I could have bought Electric 
Boat for thirteen dollars a share. I could have . . ." 



WITHDRAWALS 





'// Pm stupid, "dchat about you? You married me, didn't you?" 



'Well, that cleans him out." 





'I say 1 do_ hear a funny noise. Why must you 
always stick up for the car?" 



"Gaudeam^us igitur, 

Juvenes dum sumus; 
Post jucundam juventutem, 
Post molestam senectutem 
Nos habebit humus." 







"What you really want is to marry 
the girl and settle down. But you cafiH, because you're a gorilla.'''' 



s/ I N S 




"Waich it, man! The rate of exchange isn't that much in our favor: 







'Good Lord, Gilroy, it's not for us to determine whether they're worth saving. 








e^'o%l:^^^^^S:^^:^^^t^-5W; 







"7'm Mr5. Edward M. Barnes. Where do I live?" 






"But first, our national anthem." 




'They all_are. That's -what he's in for." 



mm rO^-ri^ 




'Want to know something, Dad?" 




IdiVariL,. 




AMEKICA'J PLAYGROUNDS 

Shelling on Sanibel Island 




^gfVUtS. 




«..#^ ^ o^W''*^ 



"Don't shout at me as if I were one of your armies! 



■fP.^!" 



^What's it m,atter where I've been? The itnportant 
thing is Vve come home to you safe and sound." 





'And why don't you love me, if I might ask?" 



'Can I helf it if we're married?" 




'Do you mind if I bleach my hair?" 





" Now who's throwing the money around?' 




". . . and what's more, you frobably never will 

find an ad requesting intelligent companionship 

jor an elderly millionaire.'" 



2 



d 






4r 




"Who's on clavichord?" 







"/ suppose there'' s quite a story behind all this?'' 




'Vende us ted Turns?" 





'Generally sfeaking, your novel is quite good, but everyone here feels 
that the New Orleans bordello scenes lack authenticity ." 




"I'm sure your 

feelings do you credit, 

Mrs. Carter, but you 

must dust this along 

with the others." 



^\{\iwn(m 






anemtc. 









''Mind if I 
flay through?" 




"/'w sorry, S07iny. We've run out of candy ^ 



; .>'^''-4 -^ ^^ 




THE 








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"/« a minutel In a minuteP'' 



/^ 






"But sufpose we're not mentally superior either." 






tfFitt 



'You're fired! You , Preston, that is." 





^A/U^LtOI? 




"My next prediction . 




On rainy days, I always get this pain right through here: 




"One thing Pll say for hhn — he's always been a good frovider.' 




"Daddy, 

come at me 
with a knife. 








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f^.'i 



'ii 




••'"•, 









■/O .'" 



....'^<f .T::;; *' 



mi>^^f/z<5 




1 








Wo, this isn't the Happy Time Cafe. This isn't 
the happy anything." 







"What burns me up, I pay taxes to the Aga Khan, 

he gives it to Aly, Aly gives it to Rita, Rita gives 

it to Dick, and Dick gives it to some woman 

named Nora Eddington Flynn." 




"Mother! Daddy's putting two in his.' 




'r:^'3\^ 




'ii[^^loi 



^a) 




ClAil)& 




"And so, in conclusion, it is with grateful hearts and a high resolve that we fledge ourselves to further 
those ideals you have fassed on to us, to re-pay in some measure our debt to those who have gone before 
by bequeathing our best to those who will come after, to give to the future as much as we have received 
from the -past. And now may I take advantage of this opportunity to say that, beginning next week, 
I will be calling on some of you about the possibility of employment." 





^-la/^L,^/^ ^r>j^LCa- 



Po'int of order . . . Point of order 
Point of order . . ." 





"HeHl be all right, Mrs. Perkins. Keep him in bed a few 

days, give him one of those fills every three hours, and 

take some cooking lessons." 




"Hello, Boris? Listen. Comrade Zherkov has 

invented something. . . . No, no, I mean really invented something!" 





^liMcdla^ 



'I've always said two couples sharing a cottage is no good." 




^^^^^ 



"Why, you swine!" 




■~ ■ :%.-y7^^i^ 




^Please! There happens to be a lady present,^^ 




li!«'«»ii; 






'"■ ' rrm 



" : ,'n;?^.AH,) 






•^'S&mm^-'" 




_^^^^ 



4LJ^ 



/i^^ 



^C-itWiyrv 



"The whites of your eyes are like alabaster, your 
pupils are like onyx, your irises like topaz, 
your lashes like webs of the finest gossamer . . ." 




"One at a time! One at a time!" 




"Damn it, I am looking -pleasant!" 





"■Miss Elliott, will you bring in your notebook, the file on the Appleton 
merger, and a few sticks of kindling?^' 



-r^ \. 






4 






^^, 
\r^ 



.•sr..:rs«^a, \l^ 






VoJiR 



"Damn it, Alice, can't you leave well enough alone!" 





'Then someone yelled 'Stop, thief!' and, 
like a dope, I stopped." 



"And stop calling me Stranger!" 




'I'm afraid I haven't been much help to you, Miss. I'm awfully sorry." 








■C^Ti- 75-^ c 






"How I envy you, Brother Timothy. M.y call didn't 
come till after many years wasted on the pleasures 
of the -flesh and the so-called joys of this world." 



"Your ominous silence 
is very effective. Don't spoil it." 




'Well, really!" 





,t.v^5 



'■^Good heavens^ E?nma! I thought this was you." 



^^r^ 








J /xu_fa 










■pcUi^L T A^/<r>i 




fcivr-V m*!^!'"^ 




''You do too have 'Harper'' s BazaarT'' 









"Andante! Andante!" 




"I like them. They wear well." 




fi 



"Next time the sfeedometer is about to turn 
over another thousand miles, maybe you'll keep quiet about it!" 





"I backed up last time. 



yarJ-^D 



"Do you know what he's carrying in that briefcase? 

He's carrying worries and problems and troubles, 

that's what he's carrying." 








(^ 




© 





^^^k** 




'Listen, Mac. These ain't the bookstalls on the Seine!' 



(D 



<^ 





(S> 



O 






^Somehow I -miss feeling that 
pride of ownership a Cadillac owner should have." 



V 



#" c'^ <e I 




gS?c\,t.rr ^ ■n.Zcji 



"Thank you, Madafn, but I think Pd better stay out 

here and watch the car, and see if I can't get a good sermon on the radio. 





fiSru^isSl 




r^Jk 



"He was a great lepidopterist." 




"Pd think you would have 

learned by now that 

seniority doesn^t 

count for a thing 

around here." 







"By all means, dear — buy it if you really want it. WeHl find the money for it somehow.'^ 



THE 




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YOaKI 


ER 


^ .,.«.--" it^:.....: 










"/ doiPt k?iow what it is, Mr. Mardley, but there's something 
about this room that gives me the ivillies.''^ 




"Watch it, Edith! You're 
over the joul line again.'' 



Wis tynMj 



'Speak up! Speak up! How do you 
expect me to hear you?" 





^ e-^Q"^^^^^^ 










'Is it fair if I leave out the cowsP" 




'/ don't think it's fair to call people middle-aged just 
because they're not so young any more." 




'That's the story, men. Now let's see you get out there and sell freezers. 




^Bf'VettaH, 







"/ think my love for Brother Valentine is less 
than my love for anyone else in this world." 






"Thanks very much, hut that wasn't me 
who called for help." 







E^SAY CONTEST 




V 



c/ury\ 



'Tell me. Louts, do you like your warden?" 



'Frankly, the contestant sending in the most box to-ps 
stands the best chance of winning." 




Sffitft^ 










/' K;.jA /^'^ 



'7",^^ -power's off. What do we do now?' 



"Mrs. Wallace made 
me take them,. She 
said they were as 
m-uch ours as theirs." 




"7 hear no complaints 
Ms morning. Am I 
to consider myself 
complimented?" 




q 13 /vu-d2cJ?^ 



tss 





"/ suppose I owe you a word of explanation. Less than ten secofids ago I was dropping 
a coin 171 a wishing well up in North Wilbraham^ Massachusetts.^'' 



© 





"And sOy Comrades, rush right down to your 
local commissary and buy a box without delay." 



'^b^ Xm^ 





''-'^^^ 



Mj my father would have said . . ." 



'Look, Joe, Pm calling that wind last night a terrific gale, 
and I don't want you crossing tne up in your book." 







ULJf=4 



LJLJI II — II- 

DnDDE 




And don't forget the little 
-pads, in case one of them has an idea?' 




jiE'-^e^'^'' 




'No, no, Bill! Yoti're a commissioner now." 




"Pve never done any 

sowing, so I really don't expect to do any reaping. 




^ , ,^-->'jJ^e«.-^a6«iJfelSfi»afc^'' '£ 




5MALL FHY 

THE VILD VE5T 



Posse 





Bad hombre 



Rowing the maverick 




"They fumfed me full o' lead.' 





Shootin' irons handy 




Comflete neve outfit 



"Pest!" 





Drawing fire 



"Pm comin' in a-shootin', Black Pete!" 




©DJ)W^[L g(SM®®Q, ®[? [?[S[IKI(3K] 



"Oh, Edzvin, not on your vacation! 





i^i\Ky 



"I alzvays jeel like a damn fool -Ziehen 
Pm doiim to my last one." 






"PF/ij, Ted, you say the sweetest things. ^^ 




LOST& FOUND 





JiiTa ^ 

yvvvAA 



"/ tised to see 'your expense accotwts at the office, Mr. Hofstetter, 
but gee, 1 Jiever dreamed Vd be in them.'''' 




"Carmichael, I'd like a word with you." 






"/'// tell you later. I can't compete with that ." 






€t@¥[^DC^^ 




"And on your right, ladies and gentlemen, is F eld's Clothing 
Store, ii'here yon alivays get the most for your money." 




w^^^^ 



'It may he old and threadbare, but it gets me there and brings me back." 



S> 




4 




^^JeoA^ 





'Help! Help!" 




^,js?^A-^ 



"Do I start talking now, or do I wait until 
I get on the couch?" 








"A t my first mention of Nietzsche, stop serving me. 





"In the book, she was wearing a chartreuse tajfeta 
with matching gloves." 




^Something I can do for you, BwanaP" 







'Madam, it might interest you to know that you're cojnpeting with the man 
xho ran the fastest 220 in the Monongahela Valley Track Meet of 1928." 




"/ hate everybody, regardless of race, creed, or place of fiational origin !'' 



\ /- 



\' 



/ y 




'f-^rCCTT 



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^05^^^SMlrillA5~^,'^ 



«^'^'tS^^!^S..xA^J(f J^RSlH^"'"^- ;r. 



£HA t.*- -) i 









til 



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^..:J^f^ 




'J«;i this is my secretary — Miss Foster." 



0— 




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--^m^ 



"That's just an expression, Mrs. Brozvn. I don't really '•jcant to take him home with nie. 




"So zve have to move! Am I 
supfosed to be in charge of the tides or something?" 




USEU 




"Speaking for myself, Pd prefer aid to trade any day. 








"When did you first discover you were 
the salt of the earth?" 



"I did shout for help, but the tide of battle 
suddenly changed in my favor, thank you." 




o 




yj)) )i \) 



'Like I said, Professor. Moon-men; ergo, 



moon-women. 







'How much symfathy should I give him?^ 






'^(J/MdC 



'It's a fainting we've never grown tired of." 



'If you'll excuse me, Madam, I should 
like to rnake a -purchase." 




"Well, I think we tn'tght not go too far icrong in drawing at least two conclusions 
about them. They were gigantic in size and addicted to gambling." 




Ayl^ATiiy 




Q-c^^Oitja: '7-?vloj_ 




'Well, I'm not striking it jrotn my record!" 




'They have a wonderful author-editor relationship.' 




''Notice, class, how Angela circles, always keeping the desk between them . . ." 







^f 






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"/ really donH know if he was a Communist. We never discussed politics.^'' 




"/ don't listen to the 
evidence. I like to make uf my own mind." 



^^c^ 




"/ think we can be congratulated on our foresight in voting ourselves these 
increases, thus assuring to the corforation our continuing loyal services. 




^,//(.re«)(4»j 



/^ii^'*''"""*'' \ 




'Whoever fainted that hasn't suffered enough. Send Mm to Siberia. 



'"^^ ■^rS^"' 



* ft <r4. JL 



Its- 





1^ 



"So}>iethi>ig's ivrong! It says my exact ireight is one liundred and sixty-seven pounds 
and that Pm forceful ni business matters, yet considerate of the feelings of others." 




-%; U V^ 





"Well, ihere's the State Department you're alzvays 

crabbing about. Aren't you going to go in and give 

them a fiece oj your mind?" 





"We may not be able to 

make 'em, but we can sure as hell cut 'em down." 




I'^^l^ 



'Enrich the soil izith humus, v:hich can be 
obtained from any nearby bog . . ." 



>i?K\ 




^^s^^'i^- 







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:l 




M.-ti^a 



"YeSy I knew it was loaded, 

but I just never dreamed I could hit him." 






4 







"- " - / / / ' 



Wi;'Jj^' 




"You know damn well I take lemonl" 




"Yes, but the trouble is he always wears that mysterious smile. 






"Well, of all the nerve!" 







O. SOG-i-OW 



"My husband is tickling me." 








'You're a very stupid dog!" 




'A gentleman across the street -phoned to present his compVnnents and 
wonders if you would have dinner with him tonight." 






"There we "xere, completely cut ojf, and me with one sack 
of flour, a case of beans, and not a single ounce of sugar." 







"Death ray, fiddlesticks! Why, it doesn't even slow them up. 










"Bound to haf-pen sometime, I swppose. 




^<>S^ 



"We've uncovered a whole mass of new evidence, 

Wilkins. Unfortunately, it -proves conclusively 

that you're guilty." 



"A m,otion to eat out has been m,ade and seconded." 





"Well, you don't look happy.' 





"Don't you think people are stupid 
to spend beautiful nights like this indoors, Miss Lament?" 




'■■xm 




"/ understand you've not only quit drinking, 

Bayes, but are going around telling everyone 

how much better you feel." 








''Well, good flight, Ahmed. If you ?ieed anything, just rub.'''' 






"Never mind about its being 

only 10 P.M. in Honolulu. It's 3 A.M. here!" 




'%,.^ 







Vvf^ 




'Pm a living American male. Instead of spending an entire evening sitting around 
flaying childish -parlor games, Pd rather be home in bed. Who am U" 




Hen JADI905)T 





'To me, they're not just something to buy 
and sell. They're personalities." 




"Well, there she goes — right on the dot?'' 




It's Oglub's boat all right, 
but it doesn't look like Oglub. 






"Good heavens, man, your heart is breaking!'^ 




"You hate math." 




"Roll uf your window, Charles. I don't want to get 
-pneumonia with that draft blowing on the back of 
m-y neck. And for heaven's sake don't squat right in 
the m,iddle of the seat and cut off my rearview 
mirror. And please, please stop fidgeting . . ." 









AwvA 



'■'■You're trying to forget one woman. Pm trying to forget an entire all-girl orchestra?^ 





"Me friend . . ." 




"Why, we call 'it—er — uh—'Old Baldy? " 









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G-, i^X N^ ^/ 




"0/z, diifi't I teU youY He^s got tie^w glasses.^^ 




Sr£'/^^^ 




"To hell with iridium! Find me a chemical that 
will rhyme with 'whiter' and 'brighter.'' 





'^VAyirrUm 



"Well, you can go right back to Dr. Richard T. Rabbins and 
tell him I said your trouble is not fsychiatric." 




'Now I've seen everything.' 




z 







.S% 




'It was just a small branch bank. My wife 
and I had simple tastes." 







"Look, darling, our first bills!" 




"//'j- all right. I just tripped on the last step?'' 



THE 




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'/^'j- the way Pve always dreamed of it — just you and me, a million miles from 
everyone. Then I ruin everything by forgetting my cigarettes.^'' 







r~^ 



"I've just about resigned myself to your 
getting twenty years." 




"Aunt Claire asked you a 

question, dear. Are you the fitcher or the catcher?" 




"CAN-CAN" 

The lady doing a high kick in a manner fofular in Montmartre 
in the nineties is Gwen Verdon. The other, and more restrained, 
girl is Lilo, an interesting importation from, France. Their ad- 
mirers are, respectively, Hans Conried and Peter Cookson. The 
show, m^ainly the work of Cole Porter, is at the Shubert. 





^It was a nice comymssion. They let rne eat the doveP 




O. SOG-LOW 




yMiJi^' 



t^^ 



"There now, wouldn't it 
have been silly of me to concede that futt?" 




BOOK STORS 




^.W'j" 



$rS 




-ToM SMiT5 



'// seems mighty funny that you men always run out 
of m.agic in an isolated s-pot like this." 




"/ wish you'd save sotne of that ha-ha-ha and 
ho-ho-ho for me." 




'Now, this in no way obligates you" 




'I suppose we have Mr. Young to thank for this delicious ragout?" 







i^atch for stolen car, license 587 J, two-door Dodge, sapphire-white 
top, jewel-black hood, and heather-rose side panels." 






"// you haven't been drinking, how come you're so 
agreeable all of a sudden?" 



"I admtre a man who has the courage of his 

convictions, Jenkins, but don't let me see you 

around here again in those damn shorts!" 




'■'■And just what am I supposed to do with my Sunday s?^^ 







''Dear Alice: 

"Hoii' are you? Pm fine and getting along O.K. Today was my 
first day in the rock quarry. I busted up them rocks like nobody's 
business. You know how strong I atn, Alice. The guard said he 
never saw a guy bust up them rocks so good the first day out . . ." 



r^ 






■ ^, cMuieui-ii^ 








"Helen tells me you're in the Navy. 



You're kidding!" 





'And now let's follow our roving camera on a surf rise 
visit to an average American home.'' 





'Dad, can I have the carpet tonight?" 






and no one can faint an accusing finger at me and say that I ever took a dollar 
jrom any man jar the furtherance of my political ambitions." 







f^hJiu^ 






'They landed in one of those new twin-engine, 

single-rotor Sikorsky helicopters — claim to be 

some sort of gods." 



"Of course, with the cheaper arrow, if it falls 

to earth you know not where, you^re only 

out thirty-eight cents." 




'Gee, I sure hope whoever Pm going to marry isn't wasting 
his money or getting into bad habits." 




'Lord, what a day!" 





"WJiere have you been? Your horse 
came back hours ago." 



'Pm sick and tired of having my evenings ruined. Why 

can't you ever commit one of those daring daylight 

robberies I keep reading about?" 




"PLAIN AND FANCY" 

The very flam figure in the middle of this valentine is Stefan Schnabel, and the others, beginning with 
the songbird in the upper left-hand corner and continuing clockwise, are Barbara Cook, Gloria Mar- 
lowe, David Daniels, Richard Derr, Nancy Andrews, Shirl Conway, and Douglas Fletcher Rodgers. 
They all appear in the musical about the Amish people at the Mark HelUnger. 




-«* 



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^^ >.\ I <■■'•" 









"VoM /oo^ so cool I could murder you." 




"Slowly, steadily, the blue-coated troopers closed in for 

the kill, their evil faces eager with triumph. It seemed 

the end. Then suddenly from the surrounding hills there 

came the welcome sound of many war whoops . . ." 









"7 wonder what brand he smokes." 



"And another thing — the ball-point fen, which cost as 

much as sixteen dollars when I first took office, is now 

available to every man, woman, and child in this state 

for as little as twenty-five cents." 




"Sure it's a lot of money. But 
let's never forget one thing — it's counterfeit." 




"■-IdgifcSN-.'.'^-tVrffc;.-^^ 





'There he goes departing from the prepared text again." 




"Sleep!" 





Oi/w^fWft^ 



'Superb! I'll buy it. 




AMERICA'i PLAYGROUND5 
. Si. Augustine 




'■ GALLERY M 





■LLERY MODER 




rtj-gJi"^ 





"Yes, dear, I'm boivl'ing again tonight." 




"He's had enough." 









\ 




f^ 



'Well, if you want to know, I just don't 
like being taken for granted." 



"Well, it doesn't give me_ a feeling of insignificance: 




DREAM5 OF 
GLOKY 



Captain Blood 



«iM 




Breaking the Bank 




'// isnH often one sees a bowler these days^ 



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"My TO/7<? « really a wonderful 
woman, but she doesn't understand . . . 




"p^si 



"This will give those smart alecks in the crime lab something to think about." 





Oi^ 



me. 




'I'll be damned if Pll shake hands with him!" 



/ 



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-45 



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V 



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c,/>^-,^^^ ;5..-ct 



'^oy, ;/ this keeps up, maybe school will he closed tomorrow, too!" 








'Well, so far so good, Mrs. Madison. 



"Now that you're one of us, Adiss Talm,age, may I be 
the first to ask what you're doing for dinner tonight?" 



<^i^ 






"Could you let me have a fiver till Sunday?'''' 




cAcm 



''Vera! 'Will you marry me?" 



""What am I getting next Christmas?" 








"Looky young man. The cash value of your $18.75 bond, 

as we compute it, has not increased, as of now, beyond the 

figure of $18.87 that I gave you this morning." 






® 






"My, it's nice and cool in here!" 





"... Then the phone rang and I answered it and they asked me the name of the song they were 
playing. I told them. Then they sent me a dozen sport shirts and a red cummerbund and a 
matched set of alligator airplane luggage and arranged for an all-expense trip to Hollywood^ 
with an evening at Giro's to be spent in the company of someone called Miss Orange Juice.'* 




d^H<r,£s£^ 




"I wish I knew where I could find that friendly neighbor 
hood grocer I keep hearing about on television. 






'Spring!'* 



^S^ 





"Ou est le feuP" 







^ ' ~N 



'Here's a good buy. It ixas returned by a custoiner 
who found he had nothing to say." 





'Girls, I'd like you to meet the Reverend Dr. Hopkins, your summer replacement." 





5rf'^^' 



'My m^other was a fish, and I don't 
know who my father was." 



■^ 









^a>s^ 



■-:^^;?rHao 




^'And when you knock him down, go to a neutral corner. 



% 



"Her damn doll was thirsty. 





^ 









IfiJ'^M)-^ 



ffh^juy 




^a2<^ 



"From these eternal hills my spirit raft 
Its never-jailing draughts of color drinks, 
Nor knoixs what pageantry . . ." 



/L--.-^ 





cAiry\ 



"I donH suppose it occurred 

to you that some of us mightn't care for Martinis." 



"If you were graduating 
from Wellesley, which would you prefer?" 





'A'^Xd 



'Pas un seul mot en anglais from now on, O.K.?" 




'All right, Haskell — sell me: 




^Just the kind of day that makes you feel good to be aliveV 




"You're the boss." 




^e/^?«<«it 




"Now let's decide which we like best — 'Remember, 
folks, Klenodent contains anethol !' or 'Klenodent con- 
tains less anethol than any other leading toothpaste? " 



"I'd know. That's who would know!" 



a. 




m p/}mi^ 






'I'm the one that should be in bed!" 










^^^-'m 



'Imagine all that fuss over just one zvoman! 






'And another feature — in case relatives should drof in unexpectedly , 
this absolutely cannot be turned into a bed." 







"What I don't like about chess is 

the way you have to sit and -pretend to think!' 




"My wife gave it to me for Christmas.'''' 





"W hatever do you see 
in poor little me?" 





This one is dated May 10, 1934. You can 
no longer go on without me." 









"You haven't said a pleasant word in two days!" 




"There! A message of good will for all mankindJ^ 



Date Due 



Due 



Returned 



Due 



Returned 



OCT 2 3 !99: 



HZ > ^m 



iviHi w '^ ii?^'^ 



KOv i 



© 6 JAi^ W 



i»i!-13-9B 



FEB 1 3 1998 



APR 1 fi 1998 



II Afi e fl ll39fl 



APR 2 8 19fl8 



" 1 ; 989 



UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA 



^1262 04816 9378 



^Ao